Tomorrow my oldest turns 5 years old. A whole hand old. I am trying to come to grips with this new reality. She is into Barbie, hair, makeup, drawing and coloring. Also, she likes to play at the park, swing as high as she can, look for rollie pollies, and tease her baby brother. With our schedule, and childcare arrangements for my son, her and I get at least 1 hour a day together, while driving. We have started turning off the music/news and we talk, or we sit in each others presence. It is a beautiful time together, and I am cherishing it. Many days she chatters on about nothing, or an event in her day. Most days she asks questions: when is such and such event, how many days until x, y, z, will you sing a song with me, etc.
I have thought, more than a handful of times, that she is semi prophetic. There have been times, in her few years, where she has matter of factly declared something, and is insulted if you question it. And a few times she has been right. Having worked with children for numerous years, I do recognize that children are way smarter than they are given credit for, and pick up more than we could want them to. The words that come from my children, are a mirror of my heart at times - and sometimes, that is not a pretty sight to see (hello road rage...I need to work on patience). More importantly, my relationship with both of my children, reminds me of my relationship with the LORD. Our heavenly Father is perfect, but I am far from it. But I do try to offer grace, mercy, love, and compassion to my children. And because I am a parent I also have to give discipline and correction when needed. Being a parent means being frustrated when one of my children continues to not grasp a concept of our life that they need to (bedtime, potty before bed and right after wake up, eating dinner when it is before you). In those moments, I can't help but think of how many times I have frustrated God with my continual disobedience, reluctance to follow the path He is outlining for me, talking to the person He has placed on my heart.
The LORD this week used my daughter to remind me of a few important facts. If you know me, or am around me for more than 5 minutes, you know that I am ready to be with Jesus. I long, an aching longing in my heart, for the LORD to return. Heaven is waiting, Jesus is there, no more pain, no more tears, no condemnation. And oh so much more!You also know that while I long for this, i.e. the rapture, the trumpet call, I do so understanding what it will mean on earth. And that always has me...accepting the tarrying of my LORD and Savior, because each day that we are on earth, is an opportunity for the lost to become saved, and to join the flock of the Great Shepard.
John 10:1-18 (ESV) I Am the Good Shepherd
10 “Truly, truly, I say to you, he who does not enter the sheepfold by the door but climbs in by another way, that man is a thief and a robber. 2 But he who enters by the door is the shepherd of the sheep. 3 To him the gatekeeper opens. The sheep hear his voice, and he calls his own sheep by name and leads them out. 4 When he has brought out all his own, he goes before them, and the sheep follow him, for they know his voice. 5 A stranger they will not follow, but they will flee from him, for they do not know the voice of strangers.” 6 This figure of speech Jesus used with them, but they did not understand what he was saying to them.
7 So Jesus again said to them, “Truly, truly, I say to you, I am the door of the sheep. 8 All who came before me are thieves and robbers, but the sheep did not listen to them. 9 I am the door. If anyone enters by me, he will be saved and will go in and out and find pasture. 10 The thief comes only to steal and kill and destroy. I came that they may have life and have it abundantly. 11 I am the good shepherd. The good shepherd lays down his life for the sheep. 12 He who is a hired hand and not a shepherd, who does not own the sheep, sees the wolf coming and leaves the sheep and flees, and the wolf snatches them and scatters them. 13 He flees because he is a hired hand and cares nothing for the sheep. 14 I am the good shepherd. I know my own and my own know me, 15 just as the Father knows me and I know the Father; and I lay down my life for the sheep. 16 And I have other sheep that are not of this fold. I must bring them also, and they will listen to my voice. So there will be one flock, one shepherd. 17 For this reason the Father loves me, because I lay down my life that I may take it up again. 18 No one takes it from me, but I lay it down of my own accord. I have authority to lay it down, and I have authority to take it up again. This charge I have received from my Father.”
So I long for Jesus, but I accept the waiting, because God is not done with this generation yet. He is giving grace, time, so more hearts will accept Him.
Earlier this week my heart though was aching. The USA and North Korea look like they are leaping (no longer inching) towards war, children are being abducted, parents are killing their own children, people are stealing from each other, and so much more. I feel the brokenness of the world, I feel the sin looming over every part of life. And these thoughts were in my heart and on my mind while driving home, after having picked up my son, Abigail was in the car already. Our local Christian radio station was on, and at this time of year they play a mix of Christian music and Christmas tunes. I am able to listen more to them at this time of year due to the mix. Rest of the year I prefer news and sermons.
The song, Where I Belong, by Building 429 was on.
Sometimes it feels like I’m watching
From the outside
Sometimes it feels like I’m breathing
But am I alive
I won’t keep searching for answers
That aren’t here to find
All I know is I’m not home yet
This is not where I belong
Take this world and give me Jesus
This is not where I belong
So when the walls come falling
Down on me
And when I’m lost in the current
Of a raging sea
I have this Blessed Assurance
Holding me
When the Earth shakes I want to be found in You
When the lights fade I want to be found in You
As this song was playing, all of a sudden, my daughter cried out, "Mommy, why aren't we in Heaven?" I looked back at her, surprised by the question. Before I could answer (not sure what I was going to say), she continued, "I keep praying to God, but He isn't answering me. I am asking, why won't He answer me!"
I was caught off guard, but then came to, and replied, "Honey, it isn't time. When God is ready for us to be in Heaven, He will make it happen. Until then, keep praying. He will answer when the time is right." I reached behind me and held her foot for a while (a gesture I do when I am trying to connect with her, and reassure her. She smiled at me, then turned to look out the car window.
The rest of the drive my heart pondered what she said. Here are my take aways:
- My daughter talks to God, without my promptings for/in prayer.
- She knows enough about Heaven to know that is where she wants to be.
- She understand that God doesn't always respond.
Folks, this earth, this world is not our home. Scripture makes that abundantly clear, and the longing in our hearts tell us there is something more. There will come a day when we will be in our eternal home. Hold onto that longing. Seek God's word, pray. Don't lose sight that how things are is not how they will always be. And each day, wake up, and use the day to the glory of the LORD. Invite people to church, share verses that speak to you. In this holiday season, remember who Jesus is:
Matthew 1:22-23, "All this took place to fulfill what the Lord had spoken by the prophet:“Behold, the virgin shall conceive and bear a son, and they shall call his name Immanuel” (which means, God with us)."
God is with us. He is with us! We should rejoice, we should sing, we should dance! God is with us. In this broken world, in this time of despair, God is with us. So while this world is not our home, our Messiah came down from Heaven, dwelt among us, and still is with us. Take heart, one day soon we will be with God in Heaven, and things will be right. However long it takes it takes, each day we wake still on this earth means that souls are still be redeemed, and the wrath of God is not yet poured out on humanity.
Christmas Blessings
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