Praying for a Hard Person in the Call for Life

Do you know this woman? Do you know who she is? What her profession is?

Cecile Richards

If you are apart of the pro-life movement, or even follow it remotely, you know who she is. 
Cecile Richards. Since 2006 she has been the president of Planned Parenthood. Later this year she plans to step down from that position. Now that does sound like a reason to celebrate, especially if it meant that Planned Parenthood was finally shut down. But alas, no she is stepping down to further her ambitions as a writer. Her book, "Make Trouble," has the tag line of, "Standing Up, Speaking Out, and Finding the Courage to Lead."

I do not like who this woman is or what she "stands" for. I believe it is an absolute sign of the depravity and fallenness of this world when a woman leads an organization known for murdering millions of babies before birth. Thirteen months ago my husband and I lost a child, just weeks after finding out we had conceived. That time was hard. We cried, I yelled, I begged, I prayed, I pleaded with God - save Charli. It was not to be. Barely 3 weeks after discovering we were pregant with #3, we lost our sweet baby. And we have mourned - not always the prettiest or even the nicest, but thirteen months later, we have come out stronger together. As much as I could, I fought to save that life, that baby.

If you are friends with me personally, or follow the Facebook page for this blog (link), you know that a week ago, my husband and I found out that once again we are expecting #4. I am just barely 5 1/2 weeks pregnant, but pregnant is pregnant. Something my OB noted on the medical portal has irked me, "Very early pregnant." Maybe the hormones (which are doubling like they need to) have me sensitive, but "early" pregnant? That seems like double speak to me. I am sorry, but you are either pregnant or you are not. Not just a little pregnant or a lot pregnant. Pregnancy is an absolute. Yes you are. Or no you are not.

The woman above, she thinks, no, believes to her core, that I have every right to get rid of this child if:

• it is not convenient to have a baby right now
• to call my baby a lump of cells if the notion of aborting a "baby"is offensive
• if there is something "genetically" wrong with my fetus, by all means get rid of it
• that what I am carrying inside me isn't a baby, it is a lump of cells, or at most a fetus, but not a human being worth the dignity of having someone fight for it.

She is a mother and that baffles me to the core. How can a woman who has children fight for women to murder their own? 

I digress. I am not here to judge her, that is God's job. My job and your job is to pray for her. But not only her. She is stepping down from the butcher shop. She is going to be replaced. People have been selected to head the committee to replace her. My conviction is that her replacement will be more depraved, more inhuman than she could even imagine. Evil doesn't tame its self, evil doesn't dilute it's poison, it ramps it up. Evil spreads like cockroaches. 

Since Roe v. Wade (1973) over 50 million babies have been murdered. The blood of our land has been polluted by the murder of our young. They are crying for justice, and some day soon God will avenge them. Until then, until the Rapture, you and I need to pray. But not just for our friends, community, pastor's, loved one's. We need to pray for people like Cecile Richards and those like her. 

Matthew 5:43-48  (NASB)
43 “You have heard that it was said, ‘You shall love your neighbor and hate your enemy.’ 44 But I say to you, love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you, 45 so that you may be sons of your Father who is in heaven; for He causes His sun to rise on the evil and the good, and sends rain on the righteous and the unrighteous. 46 For if you love those who love you, what reward do you have? Do not even the tax collectors do the same? 47 If you greet only your brothers, what more are you doing than others? Do not even the Gentiles do the same? 48 Therefore you are to be perfect, as your heavenly Father is perfect.

If you are pro-life, a defender of God's creation, Satan and his ilk, those he uses for his wickedness will persecute you. Mrs. Richards was recently reported as saying, in response to President Trump wanting protections for Christians apposed to abortion who are in the medical field, she wants them to not have any protection, but be forced to give the abortions.

Brothers and Sisters, join me in prayer. We need to pray for the unborn, for the women who are at risk of manipulation of murdering their own child, pray for the individuals who are on the committee to replace Mrs. Richards, pray for her. Let heart's be changed, lives be saved. I leave you with some verses to pray for the situation at hand.

• 1 John 4:4 Dear children, you belong to God. So you have won the victory over these people, because the one who is in you is greater than the one who is in the world. 
• 2 Thessalonians 3:3 But the Lord is faithful; he will strengthen
• Proverbs 1:33-34 but whoever listens to me will live in safety and be at ease, without fear of harm.” My son, if you receive my words and treasure up my commandments with you,
• Proverbs 19:23 The fear of the LORD leads to life; one will sleep at night without danger. you and guard you from the evil one.
• Proverbs 12:21 No harm comes to the godly, but the wicked have their fill of trouble.
• Ecclesiastes 8:5 Whoever obeys his command will come to no harm, and the wise heart will know the proper time and procedure.
• Deuteronomy 31:8 The LORD himself goes before you and will be with you; he will never leave you nor forsake you. Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged.”
• Psalm 46:1-2 God is our refuge and strength, a very present help in trouble. Therefore will not we fear, though the earth be removed, and though the mountains be carried into the midst of the sea;
• Psalm 9:9-10 The LORD is a shelter for the oppressed, a refuge in times of trouble. Those who know your name trust in you, for you, O LORD, do not abandon those who search for you.
• Proverbs 18:10 The name of the Lord is a strong tower; the righteous man runs into it and is safe.

The Look of Mourning

I was not acutely aware that I had changed.

I did not want one incident, one event to become my definition:

"Oh that is Jessica, she lost a child."

I want my life to be described in a series of moments:

"Jessica, she loves her children, loves her husband, serves the Lord, works hard, writes,and lives life to the fullest." "Oh and she hates washing windows."

I have a friend whom I am talking through my emotions and thoughts with. She does not offer solutions, there aren't any. She listens. And it has done me good, to have someone I can talk at. I feel better about where I am in my processing of the situation. I feel like I am making strides in not letting this loss become definition. Her and I have met the past two Saturday's.

This past Sunday morning I had a handful of people comment on my hair, how great it looked. After a few people mentioned my hair, I thought about it. And then it came to me. Since we lost Charli, I have pretty much had my hair up: in a bun, or a clip. I have not worn it down. It has been clean, but I have not taken the hour or so it requires to blow dry and straighten out my hair. But Sunday morning, before church, I did take the time. Which is surprising even more when you consider it was time change Sunday, we had my nephew with us, and my 2 year old was at the start of potty training. I did all that was required to get us ready for church and did my hair.

Without realizing, the loss of Charli had changed my appearance. It wasn't anything major, but then again it was. Church service is two days a week, and I generally am there. Now, I do work for the school that is a ministry of my church, so I am in our church building 6 out of 7 days a week. And sometimes that 7th day too. But for people who do not work there, they only see me 1 to 2 times a week, and for over a month every time they saw me my hair which I normally wear down to church was up, so the sudden switch back to down was noticeable.

Noticeable to everyone but me.

I have looked through my phone and have not really taken any pictures of myself this year. I do have one picture of myself with my husband when we took a trip for just the two of us. My hair is up. I apparently have not felt like taking a picture here recently. Which, I mean, I get.

Life is so quick, time flies. And without realizing, you change. I had adopted a new appearance, without meaning or wanting to. But it happened. I have been more mindful this past week of my appearance, even though I have been at home with my two littles - Spring Break. I am making sure to get dressed, brush my hair, add some make up, and earrings. I am in mourning, but it does not need to take over my life. The loss will always be apart of me, but it will not be me. I am more than a moment in my life.

Hair down, make up on, earrings in.
3/16/2017

An Opportunity to Show Mercy

 God is so sweet to us. When you are struggling, He will provide an opportunity for you to grow and overcome.

The past week I have been busy cutting out 256 squares, 5 inch by 5 inch, to make a king size quilt. I am making this quilt in the memory of Charli, and to give myself something to hold. That has been one of my hardest adjustments, I was pregnant and never got to hold my baby, my child. And so I have decided to make something, something I can hold.

It has been a while since I have quilted, the last one I made was for Stone, so it has been over 2 years. And I have never made one this large. The largest was a queen sized quilt, and that was the very first quilt I ever made.

Last night I finished cutting the squares out, and then laid them out in the order I wanted them. Then I collected them in batches so I could prepare to sew them together. The top piece will take me a week or two to put together if I diligently dedicate time to it. I am not going to rush. I have Precept, my husband has his ministry class, Abigail starts T-Ball this week, and Stone will begin potty training soon. Needless to say we are busy, and I want to give this quilt the proper attention needed.

Here are all 256 pieces laid out on my living room floor. The perfect sized quilt that my family can all lay on and watch movies together with - someday.

So, I titled this post about showing mercy, and as of yet I have not explained. 

My sweet husband woke up with an ear infection this morning. So I took the kids to church by myself, but we only stayed for Connection Groups. The rest of today has been cleaning, tidying, and cooking! One of my husbands sweet clients gave us pheasant. Well my husband could not wait to try it, so I found a recipe. That required me to go to the grocery store (solo time!). As I entered the subdivision he messaged me the following:

"Sorry babe. Went to the restroom once I realized the kids were to quiet came back and Stone got into your quilt stuff and messed up how you had it stored."

I almost began to cry. I was thinking of 256 squares scattered and out of place. When I came home I saw my sewing box open and empty. And I saw fabric...my heart sunk. I also heard my 2 year old crying from his bedroom. 

Upon closer inspection, the fabric was my extra pieces. And my basket of 256 squares was safely in place, untouched.

I had my husband bring me my son, and I talked to him as I put my box back together. I was calm, but let him know that what he did was not okay, that he even could have been hurt. He sniffled, and cried. And once I completed restoring my sewing box, I brought him to me and hugged him and kissed his head.

I am sad to say, that had I stumbled across this disarray instead of being prepared for it, I doubt I would have been as merciful. Throughout my life I have struggled with bursts of anger in situations like today. I am not proud of it, I am acutely ashamed and hate that fleshly side of me. But I am grateful that I was able to talk to my son, and love him through his wrong action today instead of being mad at him and wanting to get onto him. 

I am thankful for the opportunity to show mercy today.