"He who calls you is faithful, who also will do it." 1 Thessalonians 5:24
God, throughout the Bible, displays Himself as being faithful and worthy of our (yours and mine) trust.
In scripture, the Old Testament exactly, there is the story of a woman who is the personification of living out the life of faith: Abigail.
Now, those who know me personally, know that I have personal attachment to this name, as my only daughter was named after this wonderful woman in the Bible. The Mother's Day after I found out I was pregnant, the pastor of my church preached on Abigail, and I said if I ever had a daughter, I would name her Abigail. Not too many weeks later we found out that our baby was a girl, and so, she was named Abigail.
So why did I settle on this name? What is so great about Abigail that I felt it was the right name to name my daughter? We will get there, but lets first go over the background of Abigail, and her situation.
Abigail was a woman in Carmel, married to a man named Nabal, who was harsh and evil in his dealings.
Nabal had previous dealings with David (yes that David!) indirectly through Nabal's shepherds who had been with David's shepherds, and that interaction had been peaceful. When David heard that Nabal and his men were shearing their sheep, David had this to say:
1 Samuel 25:5-8
"So David sent ten young men; and David said to the young men, “Go up to Carmel, visit Nabal and greet him in my name; 6 and thus you shall say, ‘Have a long life, peace be to you, and peace be to your house, and peace be to all that you have. 7 Now I have heard that you have shearers; now your shepherds have been with us and we have not insulted them, nor have they missed anything all the days they were in Carmel. 8 Ask your young men and they will tell you. Therefore let my young men find favor in your eyes, for we have come on a festive day. Please give whatever you find at hand to your servants and to your son David.’”
The customs of the time and culture were that David and his men should have received favor, and even some provisions from Nabal. SHOULD have....
1 Samuel 25: 9-11
9 When David’s young men came, they spoke to Nabal according to all these words in David’s name; then they waited. 10 But Nabal answered David’s servants and said, “Who is David? And who is the son of Jesse? There are many servants today who are each breaking away from his master. 11 Shall I then take my bread and my water and my meat that I have slaughtered for my shearers, and give it to men whose origin I do not know?”
Nabal quickly was living up to his reputation.
David did not take the disrespect well, and in haste was setting up to go to war. And at this point, this is where we get to see the beauty, intelligence and wonder that is Abigail, and the lessons we can learn from her. (verses 12-13)
Six Lessons from Abigail
- Act quickly when necessary - don't be fearful
- Be humble and kind; seek peace
- God will fight for you
- Be knowledgeable
- Be aware of timing
- Respect your husband
1. Act quickly when necessary - don't be fearful
Now, at this point war was coming to Nabal, and therefore Abigail, though neither knew it. But the servants who were around Nabal when he dismissed David's men heard, and one rushed to Abigail.
14 But one of the young men told Abigail, Nabal’s wife, saying, “Behold, David sent messengers from the wilderness to greet our master, and he scorned them. 15 Yet the men were very good to us, and we were not insulted, nor did we miss anything as long as we went about with them, while we were in the fields. 16 They were a wall to us both by night and by day, all the time we were with them tending the sheep. 17 Now therefore, know and consider what you should do, for evil is plotted against our master and against all his household; and he is such a worthless man that no one can speak to him.”
Now, in a moment I will address the swift action of Abigail. But first I want to address that the servant knew he could go to Abigail. She was approachable, and those in her husband's employ knew they could go to her, and if she could, she would do something.
Can people come to you? Do you have that type of reputation? Please ponder that.
With the warning given to her by her husband's servant, Abigail didn't loaf around. She recognized that immediate action was necessary. There are times of we must be decisive and not procrastinate, the solution is obvious and you must act. And there are times we should pray and fast. You must evaluate the situation you are in. Purchasing a house, I would suggest the prayer and fasting method. But when war is at your door, you must be swift.
18 Then Abigail hurried and took two hundred loaves of bread and two jugs of wine and five sheep already prepared and five measures of roasted grain and a hundred clusters of raisins and two hundred cakes of figs, and loaded them on donkeys. 19 She said to her young men, “Go on before me; behold, I am coming after you.” But she did not tell her husband Nabal.
Abigail's swift action saved the life of the people in her household, herself, and even her husband (though he had no knowledge).
2. Be humble and kind; seek peace
This point goes against the modern culture we live in. Most women today, when confronted in this situation, would have come upon David and start yelling, making demands, being aggressive, yelling about his masculine toxicity, and how she is a "Boss Babe" and he will do as she said.
And if she had done that, Abigail and all those with her, and then those back home, would have likely been slaughtered. Abigail, wisely, defused the entire situation with humbleness, her own. Abigail was not at fault in the scenario, but she put herself in front of it, bowed down and asked for forgiveness on behalf of her husband (without bad mouthing him once!).
20 It came about as she was riding on her donkey and coming down by the hidden part of the mountain, that behold, David and his men were coming down toward her; so she met them. 21 Now David had said, “Surely in vain I have guarded all that this man has in the wilderness, so that nothing was missed of all that belonged to him; and he has returned me evil for good. 22 May God do so to the enemies of David, and more also, if by morning I leave as much as one male of any who belong to him.”
23 When Abigail saw David, she hurried and dismounted from her donkey, and fell on her face before David and bowed herself to the ground. 24 She fell at his feet and said, “On me alone, my lord, be the blame. And please let your maidservant speak to you, and listen to the words of your maidservant. 25 Please do not let my lord pay attention to this worthless man, Nabal, for as his name is, so is he. Nabal is his name and folly is with him; but I your maidservant did not see the young men of my lord whom you sent.
26 “Now therefore, my lord, as the Lord lives, and as your soul lives, since the Lord has restrained you from shedding blood, and from avenging yourself by your own hand, now then let your enemies and those who seek evil against my lord, be as Nabal. 27 Now let this gift which your maidservant has brought to my lord be given to the young men who accompany my lord. 28 Please forgive the transgression of your maidservant; for the Lord will certainly make for my lord an enduring house, because my lord is fighting the battles of the Lord, and evil will not be found in you all your days. 29 Should anyone rise up to pursue you and to seek your life, then the life of my lord shall be bound in the bundle of the living with the Lord your God; but the lives of your enemies He will sling out as from the hollow of a sling. 30 And when the Lord does for my lord according to all the good that He has spoken concerning you, and appoints you ruler over Israel, 31 this will not cause grief or a troubled heart to my lord, both by having shed blood without cause and by my lord having avenged himself. When the Lord deals well with my lord, then remember your maidservant.”
And by bowing down before David, and seeking forgiveness on behalf of her household, her genuineness was a plea for peace between the two groups and God showed David that if he slaughtered the entire household it would be wrong, and many innocents would be killed.
Even doing all this, there was no guarantee for Abigail that David would accept her plea and offer a pardon. Still, she did what is right, and did not think of herself only. She showed her love and compassion for those in her household.
3. God will fight for you
Abigail was not alone when she came up to David. God was with her, as He is with us today. God gave Abigail a special favor that allowed her to make a favorable impression on King David.
32 Then David said to Abigail, “Blessed be the Lord God of Israel, who sent you this day to meet me, 33 and blessed be your discernment, and blessed be you, who have kept me this day from bloodshed and from avenging myself by my own hand.
Not only did God come along side Abigail in her dealings with David, He was with her when she returned to her husband. Now, scripture does not say this, but it can be inferred that Nabal's harsh and evils ways probably were known to Abigail in her marriage. Upon returning home, Nabal was drunk, with many others. She wisely did not confront him while he was in this state.
36 Then Abigail came to Nabal, and behold, he was holding a feast in his house, like the feast of a king. And Nabal’s heart was merry within him, for he was very drunk; so she did not tell him anything [af]at all until the morning light.37 But in the morning, when the wine had gone out of Nabal, his wife told him these things, and his heart died within him so that he became as a stone. 38 About ten days later, the Lord struck Nabal and he died.
Abigail faced the coming with with grace, humility, meekness, and kindness, and God gave her favor, and further protected her from the wrath of her evil husband.
4. Be knowledgeable
Back in verse 10, Nabal shows his arrogance and lack of knowledge of what is going on his society.
10 But Nabal answered David’s servants and said, “Who is David? And who is the son of Jesse?
Abigail on the other hand was known for her intelligence.
3 (now the man’s name was Nabal, and his wife’s name was Abigail. And the woman was intelligent and beautiful in appearance, but the man was harsh and evil in his dealings
Knowledge is power.
Proverbs 9:10
10 The fear of the Lord is the beginning of wisdom,
And the knowledge of the Holy One is understanding.
When Abigail was made aware of the situation between Nabal and David, she didn't ask questions. Her actions imply she knew who David was, she recognized who he was, and used this knowledge in her dealings with him.
You can never know all of any one thing. Study, be knowledgeable, know what is going on around you, in your town, church, family, community. Pay attention. do not be an ostrich burying your head in the sand.
5. Be aware of timing
Timing can be key when you want to effectively communicate something. If someone is distracted, distraught, or drunk, probably best to not have vital, crucial conversations with them.
Abigail knew this, and applied this lesson when going to her husband. Upon obtaining peace with David, Abigail returned home to her husband having a feast like a king.
36 Then Abigail came to Nabal, and behold, he was holding a feast in his house, like the feast of a king. And Nabal’s heart was merry within him, for he was very drunk; so she did not tell him anything [af]at all until the morning light. 37 But in the morning, when the wine had gone out of Nabal, his wife told him these things, and his heart died within him so that he became as a stone. 38 About ten days later, the Lord struck Nabal and he died.
He was drunk as a skunk, and he would not have retained anything she said to him. She waited until the next morning, once he sobered up. Then she told him all that had transpired.
Knowing when to speak and when to be silent, that is an invaluable skill that all need to acquire.
6. Respect your husbandEphesians 5:33 "and the wife must see to it that she respects her husband."
Scripture commands women to respect their husbands. And there are ZERO clauses attached to that.
- you are not exempt if he is a drunk, rude, jobless, arrogant
We are to respect them, our husbands. Abigail lived this example out for us in her marriage to Nabal. His evil, wrath and arrogance almost cost the entire household, herself included, their lives at the hand of the man, that scripture described as the man after God's own heart.
1 Samuel 13:14
"...The Lord has sought out for Himself a man after His own heart, and the Lord has appointed him as ruler over His people, because you have not kept what the Lord commanded you.”
Acts 13:22
"...He raised up David to be their king, concerning whom He also testified and said, ‘I have found David the son of Jesse, a man after My heart, who will do all My will."
When the servant came to Abigail of the report of how Nabal dismissed David's men, she did not bad-mouth him. Not once does scripture say she was smug, disrespectful, or snarky towards her husband. In fact, she offers him respect, as the head of the household, by giving a report to him of all that occurred, when he had the ability to understand (when he sobered up).
God's way, which Abigail demonstrated for us, goes against the teachings of the world. We need to be less "Boss Babe" and more like "Admirable Abigail." In the face of injustice, be kind, compassionate, and composed.
Abigail's attributes did not leave her desolate and a widow for long. God restored to her a husband.
39 When David heard that Nabal was dead, he said, “Blessed be the Lord, who has pleaded the cause of my reproach from the hand of Nabal and has kept back His servant from evil. The Lord has also returned the evildoing of Nabal on his own head.” Then David sent a proposal to Abigail, to take her as his wife. 40 When the servants of David came to Abigail at Carmel, they spoke to her, saying, “David has sent us to you to take you as his wife.” 41 She arose and bowed with her face to the ground and said, “Behold, your maidservant is a maid to wash the feet of my lord’s servants.” 42 Then Abigail quickly arose, and rode on a donkey, with her five maidens who attended her; and she followed the messengers of David and became his wife.
Now, we do know that David had several wives, but we don't hear of him being harsh or mean to them. So it is safe to assume her marriage to David was much better than that of her marriage to Nabal.
Living a Faithful Life like Abigail
God works faithfully on behalf of those who choose to follow Him. Abigail is an example.
When trials and tribulations come, and they will, trust in God, show your faith in Him, and He will deliver you. He is always with us, close by, He sees our heart, and He is constantly working on our behalf. He has the entire picture, why we only see our little part. But our little part does matter to Him, remember that.
He will provide enough grace each day to get us through the trials we face.
Lamentations 3:22-23 (ESV)
22 The steadfast love of the Lord never ceases;
his mercies never come to an end;
23 they are new every morning;
great is your faithfulness.
And so, why did we name our daughter Abigail? Well, in hopes that she would live up to the name. Beauty, intelligence. Abigail in the Bible lived a faithful life, cared for others, was humble, sweet in spirit, respectful. Those are beautiful attributes for any woman to have.
