Obedience is tearful

I am a nerd. I love books, computer games, datasheets, creating newsletters. Administration is my spiritual gift. That and writing. Give me data and I can create spreadsheets, charts, graphs and all sorts of analysis. At my last job, I was in my own little nerd heaven.

My new job is different. My job now is wonderful. I still do reports, which satisfies my inner nerd. But over all, I work with children. Wonderful, creative, imaginative little munchkins. They love so unconditionally. You can't help but fall in love with them.

And that is where the problem is. With spreadsheets, data, and computers the only thing you risk is a paper cut or carpel tunnel. Luckily band aids and new medical procedures make these pursuits relatively risk-free.

When you work with children though, you risk losing your heart. Having it ripped from your chest and crushed.

And obedience to God now has me with a bruised and tearful heart. I left my admin job for a multitude of reasons. And after a while I started working with children only part time. 2 1/2 years later I am now full time employed; getting to watch our little Berries grow. And it is a wonderful experience. To see the growth and development is truly amazing. Children are so smart, they are wonderful little sponges. My boss has created a wonderful environment for children to develop a love of learning. 

Working for, with and beside my boss has been an education in itself. She has a love for children and their whole being that is inspiring. She has cultivated an environment to where everyone feels like family. There is some dysfunction, but more importantly there is love.

Over the holiday's our attendance always drops. Parent's take time off to enjoy time with their children. So not seeing a certain little boy did give anyone pause. Earlier this week though, a little boy I will call H.G., did not return when most of our other students did. His mother emailed to let us know he was sick, contagious and should return next week.

This morning though things changed. His mother called our school early. One of our opening teachers answered the phone, noticing that the caller i.d. said Texas Children's Hospital. Our boss wasn't in, so H.G.'s mom said she would email later today. About 4:30, after several unanswered call's to his parent's, my boss heard from H.G.'s father. What they thought he had, he did not. It's much, much worse. He has leukemia, and first thing in the morning he will start treatment.

Spreadsheets are soo much safer for the heart! Driving home today was hard. I kept breaking down in tears. Even though he is 5, he is a baby! And baby's should not be sick with leukemia. It is just so hard to process. I have a 13 month old, she could get sick. Ugh! Deciding to work with children, meant risking my heart. And that is my obedience to God. My ministry is to serve wives, and that means children will be served. I know my job is where God wants me to be. And it is outside of my comfort zone. When you interact with people on a daily basis your lives are intertwined. And though it hurts, though I am scared, I will be tearful through this experience. He sees my tears, He hears my prayers. Our God is the Great Physician. He can bring healing into this situation. Please pray with us as we pray four our student.