Fifty Shades of Red

Confession: As a tween I was introduced to romance novels. I am talking about Julia Garwood, Danielle Steel, Nora Roberts and the like. Books very similar to the daytime soap operas on the standard channels. No where near appropriate for a 10-13 year old to read. I was a ferocious reader (still am to a degree) and could read 3 to 4 a week.

Now, romance novels were not the only books I read, I read Little Women, Jane Eyre, Edgar Allen Poe, and many others. So a varied assortment, but should I have read the romance novels? As an adult, looking back, the answer is absolutely no. The books I read very easily effected my perspective on romance, sex, and relationships. The books, with their fictional story lines, some highly improbable, with unrealistic outcomes changed how I viewed life. Will I allow my daughter to read such books while she is in my house? No, not at all. 

2011, the year that the first book of the Fifty Shades trilogy came out. My husband and I were married. I remember the book came out while I was in the midst of a ladies bible study group at church. The book came up after our main session while we were split into small groups. Amongst my group of varied ladies (backgrounds, education, age, stage of life) not a single one of us wanted to read the book, and in fact many of us were appalled. 

Were we being prudes? Maybe. But what had us appalled was the number of God fearing women we knew who were fanning over the book. Mothers, Bible study leaders, women we respected -  were excited about this book trilogy. A trilogy based on debased sexual perversions, that glorifies sexual/mental abuse, and highlights an ungodly/immoral relationship.

Many of us asked amongst our selves, and to the ladies who were excited about the books this question: what is the difference between the trilogy and porn? To those we asked, many thought we were being overly dramatic, that there was no connection. Porn they said was degrading to women, and nasty men watched it. They got very defensive and deflective. But there is no difference. Both porn and that trilogy degrade women, make light of the foundation God implemented for sex, and changes how the individual partaking in its message views romance/sex/life.

As with our culture, if a book goes against God, glorifies an "alternative lifestyle" and is successful monetarily, movies are made! Just recently the third movie was released and has been a roaring success according to the media news outlets. It has had a $33 million launch and is a box office success. 

What does this say about our society? That fact that these books and movies are so successful does not speak well about the moral temperature of our culture and society. 

Ladies if you have read this trilogy and seen these movies, I HOPE and PRAY that the Holy Spirit convicts you and you become Fifty Shades of RED! Be embarrassed. God created sex, He knows what is best and how it works best: within a marriage, built on the foundation of faith. God knows how love works, He created it and defined it!

John 3:16 For God so loved the world, that He gave His only begotten Son, that whoever believes in Him shall not perish, but have eternal life.

1 Corinthians 13:4-8 Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. Love never fails

And also remember this, God's plan for marriage:
Ephesians 5: 22-33 (Marriage Like Christ and the Church)

22 Wives, be subject to your own husbands, as to the Lord. 23 For the husband is the head of the wife, as Christ also is the head of the church, He Himself being the Savior of the body. 24 But as the church is subject to Christ, so also the wives ought to be to their husbands in everything.


25 Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ also loved the church and gave Himself up for her, 26 so that He might sanctify her, having cleansed her by the washing of water with the word, 27 that He might present to Himself the church in all her glory, having no spot or wrinkle or any such thing; but that she would be holy and blameless. 28 So husbands ought also to love their own wives as their own bodies. He who loves his own wife loves himself; 29 for no one ever hated his own flesh, but nourishes and cherishes it, just as Christ also does the church, 30 because we are members of His body. 31 For this reason a man shall leave his father and mother and shall be joined to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh. 32 This mystery is great; but I am speaking with reference to Christ and the church. 33 Nevertheless, each individual among you also is to love his own wife even as himself, and the wife must see to it that she respects her husband.

Ladies, we are the moral lighthouse of our homes. We have a heavy influence on our children and their upbringing. Our children see what we do, and what we do is what they will do. Let that sink in on every level - how you dress, how you eat, how you serve, how you spend your leisure time. Women with daughters, I feel this is even more so relevant to us. Our daughters want to be us (at least my 5 year old does a this point). She wants to dress like me, do her hair like me, she asks to wear my lip stain - she wants to be my mini me. How I act in front of her, what activities I partake in, she is soaking in like a sponge. Our sons are influenced by us also, but their father will be the bigger influence in their actions and ambitions. Women usually are the glue that holds their families together, or tears it apart. 

Proverbs 14:1 The wise woman builds her house, But the foolish tears it down with her own hands

Let us all be the wise woman.