The past week I have been busy cutting out 256 squares, 5 inch by 5 inch, to make a king size quilt. I am making this quilt in the memory of Charli, and to give myself something to hold. That has been one of my hardest adjustments, I was pregnant and never got to hold my baby, my child. And so I have decided to make something, something I can hold.
It has been a while since I have quilted, the last one I made was for Stone, so it has been over 2 years. And I have never made one this large. The largest was a queen sized quilt, and that was the very first quilt I ever made.
Last night I finished cutting the squares out, and then laid them out in the order I wanted them. Then I collected them in batches so I could prepare to sew them together. The top piece will take me a week or two to put together if I diligently dedicate time to it. I am not going to rush. I have Precept, my husband has his ministry class, Abigail starts T-Ball this week, and Stone will begin potty training soon. Needless to say we are busy, and I want to give this quilt the proper attention needed.
Here are all 256 pieces laid out on my living room floor. The perfect sized quilt that my family can all lay on and watch movies together with - someday.
So, I titled this post about showing mercy, and as of yet I have not explained.
My sweet husband woke up with an ear infection this morning. So I took the kids to church by myself, but we only stayed for Connection Groups. The rest of today has been cleaning, tidying, and cooking! One of my husbands sweet clients gave us pheasant. Well my husband could not wait to try it, so I found a recipe. That required me to go to the grocery store (solo time!). As I entered the subdivision he messaged me the following:
"Sorry babe. Went to the restroom once I realized the kids were to quiet came back and Stone got into your quilt stuff and messed up how you had it stored."
I almost began to cry. I was thinking of 256 squares scattered and out of place. When I came home I saw my sewing box open and empty. And I saw fabric...my heart sunk. I also heard my 2 year old crying from his bedroom.
Upon closer inspection, the fabric was my extra pieces. And my basket of 256 squares was safely in place, untouched.
I had my husband bring me my son, and I talked to him as I put my box back together. I was calm, but let him know that what he did was not okay, that he even could have been hurt. He sniffled, and cried. And once I completed restoring my sewing box, I brought him to me and hugged him and kissed his head.
I am sad to say, that had I stumbled across this disarray instead of being prepared for it, I doubt I would have been as merciful. Throughout my life I have struggled with bursts of anger in situations like today. I am not proud of it, I am acutely ashamed and hate that fleshly side of me. But I am grateful that I was able to talk to my son, and love him through his wrong action today instead of being mad at him and wanting to get onto him.
I am thankful for the opportunity to show mercy today.
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