A Strong Face

If you know me personally, you may have seen me use the hashtag #stupidpcos

I have Polycystic Ovarian Syndrome. Also endometriosis. I have had both for about 17 year.

I have what is described a mild case: irregular period, heavy bleeding, acne, weight gain. And the cyst on my ovaries, which have been known to rupture. I thank God I haven't had a rupture lately.....those days are the worst.

If you are lucky enough to get pregnant, there have been cases of women overcoming their PCOS. After 2 pregnancies, and nursing for the past years, I finally had to admit I did not overcome mine. I stopped nursing this past October. We are 9 months past that....my hormones have basically leveled back out. And each month...my cycle gets worse. I cramp more, I have no energy, I am sick....But I put on a strong face for the world.

But I can't at home. I am so blessed that at home, I can let my symptoms take over and just try and survive.

No make up, hair natural, sweat pants without a waist band (pressure hurts!), and my good and faithful heating pad. I am a hoot to be around when my cycle comes along. If I make it off the couch at night it is a miracle.

I thank God that he gives me the strength and motivation to get up in the morning and go to work. The easiest thing would be to stay home and sleep all day. Actually, minus taking my kids to breakfast that is what I pretty much did yesterday. I took 2 naps.

So when I post that lovely little hash tag, know that it is me trying to inject some humor into my life. The pain is getting worse each cycle, and my energy lags progressively more.

And to all my sisters out there with a disease or illness that the world cannot see...I am with you. I understand the will power you have to have to get on with life. Some of you have no option, you have to have that brave face on all the time, you do not have a refuge like I do. I pray for you. Pray for me.